002: Match Day 2017

Today thousands of 4th year medical students across the country found out where they will be spending the next 3-4 years of their lives. It is a momentous occasion, worthy of celebration and excitement. My school’s Facebook page happened to be live streaming their match day ceremony and I managed to catch it in my feed. I saw smiling faces, eagerly receiving their envelopes, and counting down the minutes until they could open them all as a class in unison. Before opening, they were allowed to “break the scene” and leave their seats to go stand by their family and loved ones. And on the count of three, envelopes were ripped and slowly but surely…the squeals, the shouts of “YES!” and the happy chatter began to fill the room.

I watched in awe…it was a weird feeling, A) because I knew none of these people personally, had no idea what their stories were or the events in their lives that led them to this point, and B) despite all of that, I got excited for them. And I think the knowledge that some day it was going to be me opening my very own envelope got to me because I actually got chills (as cliche as that sounds).

I’ll never get to meet the class of 2017, but I know for them right now it’s not the end…it’s just the beginning. A lot of them are going out of state to places like Seattle and New York (so jealous!) , and others remain here. No matter where their career takes them, I know all of them will be successful doctors in their field. And getting to share in the excitement of match day for the first time only makes me more excited about what is to come!

001: Acceptance

It’s official. I’ve been accepted into medical school! It’s crazy, it’s unbelievable, I don’t feel like I deserve it…and yet, here I am–about to go from pre-med to full-fledged medical student. I’m unbelievably happy, relieved, worried, scared, excited, apprehensive, and just shell-shocked. I had honestly been preparing myself for the worst. I thought I’d end up having to re-apply in the next cycle. To have been staring for so long at a door you thought you’d never get to go through and now to be standing on the other side…It’s just an indescribable feeling.

I found out about my acceptance about 3 days ago, and right away I called my parents. Their responses were also a mix of thrilled excitement and apprehension. They were happy for me to be sure, but not psyched about me having to move so far away (I’m not even sure how I feel about it yet). I’ve also told my siblings and closest friends, but I have yet to make a big announcement on social media, mainly because I feel like it’s not official yet. I’m planning on sending in my acceptance form and deposit tomorrow, so maybe after that I’ll feel like it’s actually set in stone. In the meantime, I’ve actually been afraid to call myself a med student. It’s ridiculous, I know, but I feel like at any minute I’m gonna get an email saying “sorry, we sent you that acceptance letter by mistake”, etc.

The other part of me (the one I’ve been trying to keep in check) is super psyched, ready to buy school and office supplies, hunt for apartments and move in. That part of me needs to chill. I can’t deal with so much giddiness and excitement right now, especially knowing I have half a semester left of undergrad, plus all of summer after graduation. What kills me, though, is not having much information at the moment since I’ve yet to send in my acceptance.

If there’s one good thing that’s come out of this, it’s the feeling of relief. Knowing I’m done, I no longer have to worry about “will I or won’t I”, I know where I’ll be in the fall and there’s no more uncertainty about the future. I can actually look forward to graduation. And it’s the feeling of knowing God closed every single door except this one–that thanks to His mercy, I’m even able to attend medical school. It’s knowing the medical education I’ll receive is truly a gift from God, and I plan to ace and give everything I have to do it right and to be great for Him.

Also, I’m finally leaving my hometown! Although, I am going to miss my family a lot.