005: Apologies

I’m going to go right ahead and point out the glaringly obvious: I literally haven’t posted anything for almost a year. I feel kind of awful about it, but also…I feel like there’s no point on dwelling on it or making excuses. So, I’m just going to accept responsibility (mea culpa), apologize to any of you who may have wished I’d continued posting (what readers? lol), and go on with this blog as best as I can.

So where am I now? Well, first year is drawing to a close and I can’t believe it! I’m sitting at my dining table right now, sipping on spearmint tea from a giant mug as one does, contemplating how fast time has flown by. I still remember feeling so nervous and excited the first day, and meeting all sorts of new people. Now, almost 9 months later, I still feel excited to be here and I definitely still get nervous (hello, OSCEs!) but I’m more accustomed to it.

I have learned SO much. Like, honestly, SO much information has entered my brain these last 9 months. It hasn’t been easy. Study habits had to change, failures had to be dealt with, and to be quite honest, help had to be asked for. I’m not gonna sit here and pretend studying medicine is super glamorous. It’s definitely tough. And for someone like me, it was a rough transition, not just in terms of academics, but also in terms of living situations and being far from family. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s that the struggles HAD to happen. I had to go through everything I went through and allow the process to be what it needed to be. That’s how growth happens. A lot of times we might wish we could get from point A to point B with a snap of our fingers, but life is like “nah, it can’t be that easy”. We must make the journey and cross all the hurdles, and that takes time. For me, it took almost 6-7 months, but I’m finally at a place right now where instead of feeling totally overwhelmed, I can confidently say, “I can do this!” And that feels awesome.  However…I’m going to spare you another 5 paragraphs of my ramblings, end my philosophical reflection here and just say to anyone struggling in school right now: trust the process!

This past year has been challenging academically, physically, and emotionally. But it’s also been tons of fun! So many great memories will forever remain with me. I’ve made close friendships with so many great people, and I’ve learned a lot from them too. We’ve hung out, we’ve partied, we’ve picked up new hobbies (running!), we’ve shared stories, and, of course, studied together. To be honest, I really wasn’t expecting to bond so easily and so quickly with people. Maybe it’s the shared traumatic experience of medical school? Lol. But I’m so glad to have met my new friends, and I can’t wait to continue sharing this journey with them and see what else the future has in store for all of us.

Now to be fair, my first year journey is not quite over yet. I’m about a week and a half out from our class’s dreaded end of unit exam. The unit: endocrine, reproductive, and gastrointestinal. We’ve definitely shifted into maximum overdrive in preparation for this exam, and I am no exception (although let’s be real, my productivity isn’t always the greatest–and I’ve learned that’s ok, too!).

And so, with that, I must return to my anatomy review guide. It’s been fun taking this study break to reflect and return to writing here. I don’t want to promise anything, because I feel like I can hardly trust myself, but I hope to continue this trend and really use writing here as a sort of creative outlet. Lord knows I need it. Until next time. 🙂

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